I need help.

I (16m) have been struggling with porn for my entire life, and have been lying by omission to my girlfreind about the problem. I feel like a bastard for not communicating this problem with my girlfreind of a year and a half, and genuinely want to change.

I began watching porn when I was really young, when I was like 10 or 11. It was never anything violent or overly extreme, but I've definitely just been watching fetish stuff my entire life as i can remember it. I ignored this problem when i was still young, thinking that it was all becuase I was still alone, and didn't have a girlfreind. I thought when i finally did find a girlfriend the addiction would just fix itself.

Recently, we've been in long distance, that has made things worse. It is no excuse but i found it so much easier when there was someone I could spend time with every day instead of sitting at home feeling lost. I know i have to fix this using myself and for myself, but its definitely been worsened thsi month by the distance.

Me and my girlfreind have intamacy where possible, and the one conversation I had with her I'd admitted the problems i had ( this was like half a year ago), she wasn't angry. Instead she told me she understood and found it good that I had came forward with it, we haevnt had a conversation about it since and she thinks i've been able to quit. I've had my fair share of problems in bed, more or less becuase of porn addiction, not that i can't get it up, but more of I'm not aroused enough or I can only use my own hand, not hers.

That day, I began implementing things onto my life, like dns blockers hard coded into my many devices, or just apps on my phone to stop myself acessing porn. It didn't work, every single time I relapsed i thought to myself i need to stop this, but I dont know what in my consiousness is stopping myself from making it happen.

I'm still so young, and i know that this can ruin my life. Ive watched documentaries and read articles online about the damange it causes. The consequences are registered in my mind, i just can't seem to do anything about it.

I feel like the most horrendous, hypocritical, dickhead for not being able to fix myself. I wish, that time i brought it up, she took it more seriously. I wished she could've yelled at me and did something to try and force me to quit, I hoped so. But she didnt, she thought i could do it on my own. I appreciate her for all that, but I think my problems stem really deep into my being. The longer this has gone on for, the harder its been to ever bring it up again, to say to her: "i havent told you this, but I've still been struggling with porn ever since that conversation we had so long ago".

Do i need someone, that menas everything to me, that can destroy my sense of being, to stand there and hold me responsible for what i've done to myself and the relationship?

I need help.