PartOne: https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/s/qy9z7uVc5f
PartTwo: https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/s/xlMnbPUyjV
PartThree: https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/comments/1v1oola/please_tell_the_brids_shes_gone_pt_3/
Part Three and a half: https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/comments/1ve3be1/please_tell_the_bird_shes_gone_pt_35/
PartFour: https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/comments/1vjrsfz/please_tell_the_birds_shes_gone_pt_4/
PartFive: https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/s/CMhkmOLXnb
PART SIX:
“You coming?” Neil called behind his shoulder.
“Uh, yeah. One sec.” Aubrey replied cooly, though internally she was scrambling.
She knew she put the scarf on the couch, she threw it there every night.
The window was open.
Fuck.
Someone came in.
They wanted to make her know they were there.
She calmed herself down before walking back out the door and locking it.
“Change your mind about the scarf?” Neil asked.
“Musta misplaced it.” Aubrey chuckled.
“Do you misplace things often?” Neil asked.
Aubrey paused.
“Only when they’re super important. The non-important things are always within reach.” She teased.
Neil laughed.
“What about you?” Aubrey asked as they walked out of the complex.
“I’ve never lost anything in my life.” Neil replied slyly.
“Ah bullshit.” Aubrey replied.
“You’re telling me you never lost a toy or your dog ran away or you dropped your keys?” Aubrey asked wide eyed.
Neil laughed.
“Well, maybe as a child, yeah. But I’m known for being a good finder. I was the best ‘I Spy’ player in the whole county. Pretty sure I got recognized on national television.” Neil winked.
Aubrey stopped in her tracks.
“You cannot expect me to get in that thing.” She sighed, gazing at Neil’s van.
“What? Never hopped in a stranger’s van after they promised you food?” Neil joked.
“I was the best ‘stranger danger’ sayer in my county. Never got recognized on national news though because I was never kidnapped.” Aubrey said flatly.
“Hey there’s a first for everything!” Neil chirped.
She looked at him with an exhausted expression.
They stood there in silence.
“…Are you going to kill and rape me?” She asked coldly.
“What? No! Okay, work van was not the best idea. I see that now but you have my number and my name. We were seen together in public. Imagine how much evidence they’d have on me!” Neil exclaimed.
Aubrey’s shoulders slumped.
“You’d think, huh.” She sighed as she walked to the van.
She hopped in the passenger side, taking in all the monitors.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t trust evidence to be enough. Especially when you have a built in stalking system.” She said.
Neil laughed and pulled out a hair.
“Here, put this in your pocket or something. That way there’s undeniable proof we were together just now.” He said, handing her a strand.
Aubrey held it, surprised at herself for grabbing a strand.
“Whatever you say, stalker.” She chuckled, placing the hair in her pocket.
Neil smiled and started driving.
“So. You gonna explain all the monitors?” She asked.
“It’s for work.” Neil replied flatly.
“What’s the whole thing with the pigeons?” Neil asked in return.
Aubrey paused.
“My friend Mikey and I used to feed ‘em.” She replied, smiling sadly.
Neil chuckled.
“Only pigeons or other birds too?” He asked.
“It’s my turn for a question.” Aubrey teased.
“Turn?” Neil asked.
“Well, yeah. We go back and forth so then it’s even.” Aubrey explained.
“Never heard of that.” Neil laughed.
“What do you do for work?” Aubrey asked.
“You mean besides stalking?” Neil chuckled.
“Yes, besides stalking.” She said, rolling her eyes.
“I am basically a professional stalker.” Neil replied.
Aubrey turned to him, scanning his face for any cracks in demeanour.
Neil glanced over at her.
“I’m a private investigator.” Neil finally said.
“Ah.” Aubrey sighed with relief.
They pulled up to the coffee shop, parking just down the street.
Aubrey glanced up on the balconies, watching the birds sitting overhead.
“So, why the pigeons?” Neil asked.
Aubrey looked offended.
“What’s so wrong with that?”
“It’s just,” he started, “aren’t they just rats with wings?”
She stopped walking.
“You take that back.”
Neil laughed. “Jesus Christ.”
“I’m being serious! They’re domesticated. We abandoned them. Everything ‘annoying’ about pigeons is basically our fault.” She whined.
“You’re talking like you’re personably responsible for them.” He said.
“I am. In fact, I represent them legally.” she teased.
“Does it pay well?” He laughed.
“Terribly. Mostly in shit.”
They walked inside the shop, Neil holding the door.
“Mikey knew all kinds of stuff about them,” Aubrey said, “He used to send me all kinds of random pigeon facts at like three in the morning.”
“Like?”
“They mate for life.”
Neil glanced at her. “That’s true?”
“Yeah,” she said, glancing down. “Usually.”
They walked up and placed their order with the barista at the counter. Aubrey didn’t even pretend to be willing to pay, and Neil found that amusing and intriguing.
They sat down outside near the bushes she helped the pigeons to yesterday as they waited for their food.
“So, how long have you known Mikey?”
Aubrey pauses.
“Uh-uh. My turn.” She smiles.
She looks up, tilting her head slightly while tapping her fingers.
“What made you become a P.I?” she finally asks.
“I was really good at where’s waldo, and finding my moms missing things. Kinda spiraled from there. Do you have any pets?”
Aubrey laughed.
“You were in my apartment, that was kinda a waste of a question. Aren’t you supposed to be observant?”
“True I guess. So, I take that as none?”
“No, but I did have a pet rat growing up.” She smiled.
“So you like vermin?”
“Hey! Mr. Whiskers was a great companion. Have you ever been married?” She asked.
“Jesus. That’s a jump. Birds to marriage.” Neil spat.
“Answer the question, stalker.”
“No, never married. What do you do when you’re not standing in traffic?” Neil asked.
Aubrey paused.
What did she do?
She smiled slightly. “Mostly just commit minor traffic violations.”
Neil noticed the way she dodged around the answer and decided not to push.
The food came out and Neil’s eyes widened at the ferocity in which Aubrey ate.
It was like she was starved.
But, every other bite, she’d pick a piece off and throw it to the floor, watching the birds come up far too close.
“That’s one of the ones I helped out yesterday.” She said in between bites, dropping crumbs around her chair.
“I named him Sam.”
“You can’t possibly tell them apart.” Neil chuckled, looking at the bird standing by his feet.
“Sure can. I can also tell he doesn’t like you.” She smiled.
“He doesn’t know me.” Neil replied.
Aubrey took another bite of food, covering her mouth as she chewed. “He’s a good judge of character.”
“Says the lady who hopped into a near strangers van.” Neil laughed.
“Never said I was.”
They continued eating, watching the birds swarm around them, idly chatting.
As they got up to leave, Neil noticed one pigeon still swarming around the table.
Aubrey looked at it dejected as her plate sat empty.
Neil took the last remainder of his croissant and threw it to the floor, watching the bird hurriedly walking up.
Aubrey’s eyes brighten.
“Don’t.” Neil groaned.
“I didn’t say anything.” Aubrey smiled.
“Your face did.” Neil groaned, watching Aubrey giggle as they walked back to the van.
“So,” Aubrey turned to face him, “Where to next?”
Source: r/TalesFromTheCreeps · by /u/theonepeaz