Seeking a funder/ angel investor for cultural analytics and AI software innovation

Rule 1 – Compensation – I am a finalist for multiple grants that have a self-selecting weeding out process by requiring as much as 30+ pages of documentation to apply. The funder can expect to mostly be investing in me, short term, and helping me get to a stage where I can afford to start distributing returns. One grant application I am submitting on Friday is for 1 million dollars. I have my fingers crossed to win at least one of the $5,000-$35,000 grants I applied to this summer. I am trying to be as specific as I can when the scope of variability is so vague. The probability dynamics of winning these grants resembles that of getting into a selective college. Even when someone kind of knows they will end up at an Ivy League college, it's not healthy to really start wearing the Yale sweatshirt until you've gotten in.

Rule 2 – Traction – I have been successfully winning paying customers for three years. I have exposed them to mini MVP versions of my project. My full creative vision requires being able to work on engineering a data pipeline for at least 18 months without having to worry about winning enough customers to pay bills.

Rule 3 – Commitment – Exploratory and advisor

Rule 4 – What I Bring – I bring domain expertise. I am a subject matter expert (SME) in cultural analytics (cf. Lev Manovich, Lisa Birnbach, Matthew Longcore) and AI software innovation in the context of Internet history and software studies (cf. monoskop.org).

Rule 5 – No Vague Pitches and Rule 6 – Be Respectful — Formally responding to each rule like this is my attempt to fulfill these rules.

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Hi, I need a funder/ angel investor.

I worked with a multimillionaire angel investor for most of my adult life, throughout the 2010s.

That person ran into financial troubles around 2023 and stopped being able to fund.

The right fit could be potentially anyone. At this very moment, I'm trying to submit a proposal for this $1 million grant contest one of the FAANG companies is running. The grant is due Friday night at midnight, and I am applying for 2-3 other grants this week as well. I just don't make efficient progress on my innovation research when I have to face the distraction of navigating gig work.

At whatever scale of investment, even just a few hundred dollars, your investment is going to have massive economies of scale in terms of freeing me up to pursue exciting research at a normal pace. My research is deliberately dissonant from the status quo of kind of neoliberal startup culture and general corporate culture. I'm actually actively theorizing the future of the 21st-24th centuries. This means that conventional grant and funding procedures are relatively bad for my mental health.

The sooner I can get out of this loop, the better. Let's try this: you name what you're interested in and I'll find something in my research that relates. I have literally 2000+ pages of white papers and notes at this point. It doesn’t make sense for me to be wasting time dealing with financial obstacles that even block me from trying to apply for funding.

I am a severe cyberbullying survivor and am not available to engage with or respond to mocking or sarcastic comments.