Starting to think I’ll never bee free

Hello everyone. I pray for you all to be delivered from this stupid addiction.

My case is very similar to many of you. I started young, right at the beginning of my puberty, 11 years old, and have continued to consume for 8 years now. I've watched countless videos, and have spiraled into shocking and degenerate content as time went on.

My personal journey led me to christ when I turned 17, and I've been trying to get off pornography and masturbation ever since, but unfortunately I'm losing hope.

At first, I tried blockers. All kinds: App blockers on the phone, browser extensions. I also tried DNS blocking. But nothing works because I find ways to evade the block. When I'm in the "moment", it's like all my mind can think of is just giving in.

Secondly, I tried speaking out to others. I talked to my family and talked to my pastor. I tried to make myself accountable for my actions. I called my pastor every time I sinned. It worked at first, but I stopped caring after some point. My desires overcome the shame I feel when I'm in "the moment".

I've tried staying out of the house, being around people. It works but eventually I need to sleep in my room alone and I slip. It also doesn't help that I work remotely from home.

I pray everyday to be delivered, but unfortunately it seems like God has left this fight for me alone. There really isn't any avenue I haven't tried already. It's been almost 3 years of trying constantly but nothing will work for me.

Guys, honestly I'm starting to think I'll never stop. This will be my thing, unfortunately. I should just learn to live with it rather than fight it. I should try to minimize whatever outside consequences it may have to others, but not pretend that I'll ever be clean. I feel that I should find a way to follow christ, love others and honor him despite being a sinner at night.

As I said, I pray for you all. I'd love to hear your thoughts, I truly appreciate it. I hope you all have a wonderful, porn-free day today.